Have you had nights when you can't fall asleep?
Didn't anyone's face appear in your mind?
Unforgettable memories and uncontrollable emotion.
Open the twelve doors named "bitter sweet feelings."
Before I shut my heart...
Sentimental Journey
Before the secret memories for just the two of us disappear...
When we were both little...
...we could understand each other without a word.
That was the time when...
...we could believe in angels.
When you told me that you would break up with me...
...I couldn't look at you.
Please, come and see me.
I want to see your smile.
Please, don't forget your kindness.
Before I shut my heart...
Before the secret memories for just the two of us disappear...
A Story of 12 Girls in 12 Cities
Episode 6: Wakana Ayasaki The Renunciation of All Earthly Desires
That's really Wakana.
She never misses the bullseye.
What's the matter with you, Ms. Ayasaki?
Your mind is disturbed by something.
Yes.
Your mind is disturbed so much.
Yes, I'm aware of that.
Let me finish for the day.
Yes. You may go now.
Darkness
Misao told me about you.
You should discipline yourself.
Yes, grandfather.
It's not like you.
What happened to you?
Nothing.
I'm just a 17 year-old girl.
Go and see Gengaku at Tenryu temple on Mt. Myoren.
You'll find out something there.
Your hands are not moving.
So sorry.
It's been long since I visited you.
So what brought you here?
I'm annoyed by my imperfection.
I see.
I can't stop thinking about what I shouldn't think about.
Tell me what things you shouldn't think about.
It's my earthly desires.
I see.
I know earthly desires are bad.
But my mind has been harassed by earthly desires.
So shall I cast out your earthly desires?
Can you do that?
Yes, I can.
Oh, please do that.
Okay. Show me your earthly desires here, right now.
What?
If you can't show me, I can't cast them out.
No, I can't.
Don't you think it's strange that you say you have them...
...but you can't show them to me?
It's impossible.
Therefore, there are no earthly desires.
If they're not there, I can't abandon them.
Do you understand that?
So what annoys me then?
It must be your earthly desires.
You just said there were no earthly desires.
It's you who said there were earthly desires from the start, not me.
Why do you think earthly desires are bad?
They mislead human beings.
I see.
One married couple was divorced.
They used to be my friend's ideal couple.
They married because they were so much in love.
But they are no longer together.
I see.
You are saying their divorce is caused by earthly desires.
Mr. Gengaku, is there eternal love?
Love?
Yes.
When you throw a ball into a stream, the ball will...
...keep floating around, never staying still.
The ball in a stream keeps moving.
So does the human mind.
So why do people love other people...
...even if love will change and disappear?
Why are you breathing, even if you will die eventually?
It's a subconscious activity. We don't breathe consciously.
I see. Do you think you're living now?
Yes, I'm living here now.
Don't you just think you're living now?
If you don't think you're living now, you're not living.
Therefore, you never die.
But you just said I'd die eventually.
If you think you're living, you'll die eventually.
If you think something is there, it'll disappear eventually.
Is there anything that stays forever?
Because you think something is there, it must disappear.
Even love that I think I have?
If you think you have it, it will disappear.
So why do people love other people?
Come with me.
Look.
Do you see there's love.
Who do you think this man is?
He's Mr. Gengaku of Tenryu temple.
No.
I'm Wakana Ayasaki now.
Only while you look at me, I become you.
To some extent, it's so-called love.
When people love others, they love themselves.
No, it can't be.
Am I incorrect?
If people love other people to love themselves, it would be called self love.
If it's true, what does it mean?
It's wrong to love others to love oneself.
I see.
At least, doesn't Buddha think it's wrong?
How could I know?
My grandfather told me to live for other people.
Once in a while he can say something that makes sense.
Oh, excuse me.
Therefore, it's wrong to love others for one's self.
It seems that the Buddha inside you is not awake.
Let's go downtown.
Downtown?
Ascetic training is Zen, meditation is Zen...
...all aspects of living are also Zen.
Zen is everywhere. All times and places.
Darkness
Give me two chocolates.
Thank you.
Which do you like, strawberry or chocolate?
What's the matter? Am I different from how you imagined me?
No...
You're thinking that I'm a Buddhist monk who's eating a crepe?
Isn't it true?
That's the creation of your thoughts.
But...
What you can say is one existence takes over the other existence.
Because you have your thoughts, I'm different from what you think.
That's exactly the same thing as your annoyance.
If someone looks at us now...
...he may think I'm a corrupt monk who is dating a high school girl.
No...
Because of earthly desires, people think a certain way.
It makes us see things that are not there.
It makes us see nothing when something is there.
I can understand what you're trying to say.
Oh.
It's impossible to abandon earthly desires.
We have to understand that.
So we need great spiritual strength not to be misled by them.
Do you think so?
Yes.
Then, it must be right.
Thank you for the crepe.
...your hand.
Can I hold your hand?
Light
Darkness
Grandfather.
I'm sorry.
Wakana!
Sorry. I should have come here earlier.
Wakana.
I'm scared.
It's so dark. I'm alone.
It's fine now.
Why does my heartbeat speed up?
Why? What's happening?
Mr. Gengaku.
How can I tell love from earthly desire?
Why do you want to do that?
Because I want to believe in love.
And I don't want to believe in something other than love.
You said the divorced couple were married based on earthly desires, but...
...it doesn't have to be true.
Are you saying that they were married based on love?
Suppose they loved each other.
But where did their love go?
If love easily disappears, I don't want to be bothered by such a thing.
Love doesn't go anywhere.
Love still exists now.
No.
Because the love disappeared, they got divorced.
You can say so...
Ayasaki Fan Store
My father and mother had an arranged marriage, didn't they?
Yes.
They don't talk about it much.
They've never been bothered...
They've grown their love little by little until now.
And Grandfather and you, too?
Wakana?
I want to kiss someone.
Do you know the saying, "Suppress your 'self'..."?
Suppress your 'self,' even fire feels cool.
No, the correct way is...
Suppress your 'self,' even fire itself is cool.
I haven't heard that before.
If your mind is calm, fire is hot and cool.
Hot but cool?
No, not hot but cool.
Hotness is coolness.
Hotness is coolness?
Hot things are hot, never been cool.
But you can find coolness in hotness.
Let me tell you the story about a friend of mine.
Yes.
The man was in love with a girl.
She liked him, too.
But unfortunately his best friend also fell in love with her.
The man was pledged to make her happy.
His best friend told her that he had no idea what would happen in future.
All he could say was that he loved her. That was it.
At the end, she chose his best friend.
What do you think of the best friend?
He's a terrible man who abandoned friendship because of earthly desire.
But their friendship is still going now.
How can it be?
That's the difference between how the selves love her.
Difference between selves?
The man said he'd make her happy.
But actually nothing is more irresponsible than these words.
No, really?
Look at it this way.
Can you be sure about tomorrow? No, even 5 minutes or 1 minute from now...
...no one can tell what is going to happen.
That's true, but...
His words showed his ego.
Ego.
What about his best friend?
He said nothing but the truth.
He just showed his self.
Self.
There's the difference between ego and self.
Ego and self.
Ego is self-centered.
Ego is at the center and is surrounded by other people.
However, self has no center.
There is self, and there are other people, sometimes they overlap and separate.
That is the soul of Buddha, the highly purified spirit which...
...is naturally possessed by human beings.
Yes. It could be true, but...
Yes. From the other point of view, his friend took his girlfriend.
But that point of view is just an idea created by human beings.
If you don't know about the man and look at only his friend and the girl...
...you would think they are truely in love.
What surely existed was...
...feelings for her from his friend and feelings from the girl for him.
What happened to them then?
They've been happily married for 52 years.
So they have eternal love.
That's right and wrong.
What?
Love is supposed to be reborn all the time.
Only when love is born, love shines.
In that sense, love isn't eternal and is eternal.
Love between the divorced couple will never disappear.
It was the truth as it was.
I see.
Your love is also eternal and not eternal.
Go with what you believe in.
Believe in your love right now and cherish it.
Shall we sit down here and talk?
Here?
I'm joking.
Your hesitation clearly told me what is on your mind.
On my mind?
A long time ago...
Master Daito who is the founder of Daitokuji temple sat down on this bridge...
...tried to meditate and shut out the many passengers on the busy bridge.
Then, he mastered the ability to calm down his mind. He wrote a poem...
After meditation on the busy bridge, I can see...
...people in the street as trees in a forest.
What do you think?
Do you have the same feelings as he had?
My feelings?
When he read his poem, he realized he hadn't reached perfection yet.
Because it was unnatural to see the people as the trees in the forest.
Then, he went back to meditate on the bridge for a long time.
Finally, he wrote down this poem.
After meditation on the busy bridge, I can see...
...people in the street as they are.
As they are.
Do you get it?
The people walking on the bridge are still just people.
Acknowledging them as they are and never being bothered by them is...
...the most important.
Like ever lasting streams of people...
...earthly desires never disappear from minds of human beings.
See that as it is...
Mr. Gengaku!
Light and Darkness
Yes.
Earthly desire can mean either good or bad.
To that extent, it's just there.
The meaning of earthly desire depends on how you live.
When you have troubles, you see earthly desire.
When you awaken yourself, you don't see earthly desire.
It should be that way.
Because we have earthly desire, we grow up and evolve.
The boy in your memory taught you that.
Thank you so much.
And...
...thank you.
Mr. Gengaku.
Do we look like we're dating right now?
The only truth is that this arrowroot jelly is very good.
You awakened yourself, didn't you?
At the end of your lesson, can I ask one more question?
What is that?
That guy who was heartbroken. What is he doing now?
Is he happy now?
He's probably happy.
He became a Buddhist monk.
And he's eating the best arrowroot jelly with his best friend's granddaughter.
On a holiday with lots of sunshine...
Let's go to the beach like we used to do.
The road that seems to continue into the sky...
Back then, I wasn't afraid of losing.
The ocean breeze is passing by and whispering to us.
Just keep on smiling Let's sing with a smile...
Tears shouldn't fill your eyes.
Just keep on smiling, be yourself and have a glow to your face.
Like a flower blooming on your face.
Gosh, I'm so great.
Huh, who is great?
It's me!
I mean "I'm exhausted" in Nagoya dialect.
Why am I so exhausted...
Oh I'm running out of time.
Next episode of "Sentimental Journey"...
Episode 7, Rurika Yamamoto.
All is not quiet on the mid-Japan front.
If I lose, the feeling will be a thousand times more bittersweet.